Strings
by ipodder
Summary: He's not going to rub in the fact that he's been frustrated with the lack of creative outlet, something meaty to dissect. He's not going to agree with her calling herself selfish; he won't allow himself to think that of her. Brooke/Julian one shot


**AN: Hi guys, i'm back with a somewhat lengthy one shot. One Tree Hill isn't the show it used to be, and sometimes i wish that Julian was introduced when it was classic OTH, know what i mean? Like, it would be amazing to see his and Brooke's story when the show was where it was around seasons 2-3, even 4, with the music montages, the acting, the writing etc. Because even though i love Brooke julian and Sophia and Austin like, a lot, i can't help but feel as if they're acting as themselves, because the storylines don't challenge them anymore. Anyway, rant over! sorry :p this story kind of reflects my musing of old one tree hill, for brooke and julian to actually talk about things, not just tell each other how much they love one another and how they're going to be great parents etc. As much as i love Brooke, i don't like how the LA storyline was handled at all, why the hell is she so insistent on staying in Tree Hill? It makes her come off as extremely selfish, so i wanted to fix that a little; it is also slightly spoilerish, from things i read was going to happen in the upcoming episodes, just to warn you. Plus, the time line is after the wedding (but i'm dragging on the accident storyline slightly, i thought it was over way too quickly) but without the Chloe adoption storyline, and if you've heard about that, and for those who don't read spoilers stop reading here! I really am against Mark giving Brooke getting her own kids, because then it just demeans everything else that has happened because of that. I'm sure i'll enjoy the storyline regardless, but It's ridiculous! Why can't they stick to something for once? Sorry for the long rant guys, and hope you enjoy the story :)**

She's tossing and turning, ruffling the sheets between them, sighing. He moves his hands in a half slumber and reaches up to tighten the hold on her waist.

'Baby, what's wrong?' Julian's voice is hoarse from sleep, his hands still on her waist, slightly pulling her form closer to him, squeezing her sides to evoke some sort of response.

'What's wrong Brooke? Talk to me.'

Brooke turns again, this time facing him. He switches his bed lamp on and rubs his eyes, to see that she has tears in hers.

'Brooke?'

'I've just been thinking, about our lives in general. And just about choices-'

He frowns, and almost wants to let out a light chuckle, 'and is being married to me so bad that you're crying, baby?' He jokes.

She rolls her eyes and reaches to graze his right cheek with her palm, a gentle caress of love, and leans in to capture his lips with hers.

'Of course not, being married to you is _amazing_', she drawls.

His attempt at another _what's wrong_ is lost on his lips as his hand tangles in her hair, another hand reaching to entwine with hers, as she reaches down between them, running a hand down his happy trail, moving lower as he feels her smirk.

'Baby, don't distract me.' He should get some sort of award for having that much restraint. He's usually powerless before her. Most men are.

She shakes her head as she moves lower, reaching into his sweatpants and caressing him, and he detaches his lips from hers and moves to a sensitive spot on her neck, breathing heavily onto her.

'Brooke, stop.'

She chuckles, but its somewhat of a cynical one, and he doesn't want to think about what it could mean,

'I don't want to talk about it.'

He keeps kissing her neck, his breathing becoming heavier as he tries to control himself, reaching a free hand downwards and trailing a light finger up Brooke's thigh, stopping at her underwear, circling his thumb around her sensitive area and she stops her ministrations on him, breathing harsher.

'That's not fair.' She lets out.

He smirks, 'two can play this game. You have no idea how hard it was to stop that.'

Her hands go back to the same spot, 'then don't stop me,' she whispers.

He closes his eyes momentarily, _goddamnit_

'Brooke,' she doesn't stop, 'Brooke, what the hell is going on? Why won't you talk to me? I wake up to find you in tears at 4am, shouldn't i be concerned?'

Brooke sits up, with a look resembling almost betrayal crossing her features.

'I've been thinking about LA.'

He pulls up his sweatpants and rubs sleep away from his eyes once more, sitting up to face her.

'What about LA? I thought we decided to stay in Tree Hill, the last time we talked about it I was so close to losing you, I don't want to talk about LA ever again.'

Her eyes soften as she brings his hand to her lips, pressing a light kiss on him.

'What happened,' she pauses, organising her thoughts, and trying to shake away the feeling of terror from that night that was threatening to creep up once more, 'what happened to me that night,' she tries again, 'was in no way to do with our argument, Julian, you can't possibly think it was-'

And as she turns to see him flinch a little, biting his lip like a little boy who was just found out, it dawns on her that he _does._

'Oh my god, you think this accident was your fault?'

He shakes his head indignantly, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that it wasn't.

'I don't want to talk about this anymore Brooke, it's late, let's go back to bed.'

'How could you think that? You saved me, you saved Jamie. Without you I'd-'

'Brooke, stop!'

She gives him an incredulous look and touches his arm, 'Julian, obviously you've been carrying it around. We have two issues that needs to be discussed here.'

He reaches over to wipe a stray tear from her eye, 'Please don't cry. You're beautiful, but it breaks my heart to see you upset.'

'Then tell me what you're thinking!'

'You're the one who didn't want to discuss what made you rethink LA, so i don't think it's fair for you to push me on this, Brooke.'

She's mad, she doesn't know how she went from upset to turned on, to loving, to mad in the span of less than fifteen minutes.

'I'm not pushing you to do anything Julian! You know what, you're right, let's go back to sleep, but you can sleep here by yourself, i'm going to the guest room.'

He's up again, running a hand through his hair, something he does when she frustrates him.

'Brooke!'

She turns,

'Brooke, don't make this into a fight, you're making it bigger than it is.'

She grabs her dressing gown from the chair next to her dresser, and turns to him,

'Don't patronize me right now.'

He rubs sleep from his eyes as the sunlight form the window dawns on his face.

It's morning, and he barely slept since the _fight _with Brooke. It's funny, even though he's very confident in their relationship, Brooke manages to slip in her pre engaged Brooke traits every once in a while, doubting him, doubting herself, lashing out at him over things he doesn't know he's done, beating herself up over trivial matters. It's adorable most of the time, and he loves being the one who fixes it all for her, reassuring her. But today, it doesn't sit right with him, and he needs to know why.

Just as he makes himself leave the comfort of their bed, Brooke's head pops up between the door, holding a steaming mug of tea. _Peace offering. _

'I'm sorry about last night. Last night was stupid, and i don't know what came over me. I guess I just felt guilty because you were feeling guilty, and I-'.

Julian gets up and envelopes her into a hug, pressing a soft kiss on her temple.

'I'm sorry too. Let's just, let's just let it go for a while, okay?'

And although she doesn't really want to, and finds it strange that this time, it's him avoiding to talk about issues and _them_, but complies anyway and nods against his chest.

_It's an act of love. _

' _Brooke! It's my career! You know how many movies i used to make? i was one of the best, okay? people used to send me scripts all the time, now i have to call in favours to get them, because no one wants to waste scripts sending them to the producer who turns down the job anyway.' _

'_Well, you know how many people used to wear my clothes?' _

_He looks at her with disbelief, 'Are you kidding me? That was your choice! A very noble one which i love you for, but you cannot say it's the same thing. I stopped making movies because surprisingly enough, Tree Hill isn't exactly little hollywood! i don't understand why this town keeps you from going anywhere! If Nate got a job offer in Florida or whatever, you know as well as i do, that the family wouldn't hesitate for a second to move. Look at Luke and Peyton, they haven't been home for years! Why are you insisting on being loyal to people who aren't here?' _

_She gets up, 'i'm not going to sit here and be insulted like this.'_

_He frowns, 'What? Brooke! Do you just want me to sit around the house everyday for the rest of our lives? Would you be happy to be married to someone like that?'_

'_I'm not married to you because you make movies, Julian.'_

_He tugs at his hair with frustration, trying not to raise his voice at her._

'_But you did, marry me i mean. You married me. That means you married all of me, including the me who loves movies, that doesn't change, Brooke. And it's LA, it's not like i'm moving us to Thailand or Australia, it's not that big of a change! You'll have so many opportunities in Los Angeles, and the weather is amazing, remember when you came to see me after Luke and Peyton left Tree Hill? And we had lunch in Malibu? Remember how nice that was?'_

_She's quiet now, a part of her knows he was right, but she just doesn't want anything to change. She doesn't want to think whether they would change if they moved, if Julian fully got back into the film industry, they'd be faced with ten more Alex Dupres, she'd be so busy with fashion shows and the dinners and after parties that they would have to schedule in time to order chinese and snuggle up on the couch. She likes Tree Hill because it's comfortable, but telling him that sounds so childish. _

_So she nods and admits to liking Malibu, but she doesn't want to talk about it right now. And that's when she walks out of the bedroom, and he storms after her._

That was the night of the accident, and they haven't talked about it since. Brooke's been thinking of ways to bring it up, to apologize, but Julian constantly changes the topic or shuts her down.

She's been thinking about how they've been tip toeing around the topics of LA and the accident for a few weeks now. She wonders how they're somewhat connected, issues that needs to be discussed in order for them to move on from this, but its something that could potentially hurt them, both equally. She can see that Julian is still carrying around something from that night, his jaw clenches when they watch a film and there's a scene with a car accident, she has to calm him down. Brooke has dropped the subject for three weeks now, and she wants to talk about _something_, but she supposes it's what Julian has to sort through on his own.

'_That's what being married is about Julian! You need to let me lighten your load-let me help you, please, it kills me to see you like this.'_

'_Brooke, i can't, okay. I just-it's out of my control, and i just some more time to deal with it. I'm sorry'._

'I did something today,'

She glances up from _Vogue _to see her husband's tall frame, hovering against the doorframe. He's soaked from to toe, a little shaken up, and he's clutching his hands.

'Oh my god Julian, what happened? Baby, are you alright? Where were you?'

He shakes his head, revealing a bruised hand.

'I did something-I, please don't be mad Brooke.'

She stands closer to him and runs her hands across his face, feeling the moisture on his face, a mixture of sweat and water.

'Julian,' she tries, softer this time,'what happened? Did you get into a fight?'

The last time she saw him get into a fight, or rather, get punched by someone, was a few years ago at Lucas and Peyton's wedding, by Nick Lachey, nonetheless.

He frowns, ' you could say that. I attacked someone. I know who hit you with that car-'

_Oh no. _

'Nate and Clay, they know him. Ian Kellerman, a baseball player they wanted to sign, and somehow, Nate found out what happened, and then I did, and I just wanted to make him feel what you felt Brooke, i'm sorry. I just-i'm a guy, i had to do it.'

'You pushed him into the water?'

'And i pressed his head down till Clay had to drag me away. Brooke, i could have killed him, i swear.'

She's not sure whether she wanted to scream at him for being so stupid, or hug him with all the love in the world, or cry, so she did what neither of them expected and reached up to slap him.

'Julian, how could you have been so stupid? What would have happened if you killed the guy?'

There was a brief pause, and she glanced down at her hands, as if she couldn't recognize them as her own.

'Julian I'm so sorry, baby-'

He hovers above her, towering over her smaller form with a look in his eyes she's never seen before.

'Brooke, i am not. NOT going to apologize EVER, for trying to protect, or stick up for my wife! So don't you dare tell me what i did was wrong.'

He scared her, in that moment, with his height that's usually complimentary with her small frame, the fire in his eyes. He'd never ever hurt her, she knows that, but he scared her.

And once those words came out, he knew too.

'I'm sorry. But i'm not going to apologize.'

She turned away from him, and he forces her into his embrace.

'Im sorry i scared you, baby. It's me, it's okay. We're okay now. Ian's fine, i didn't hurt him. I stopped before it got that far.' He mutters into her hair.

She looks up to find rare tears in his brown eyes, and wipes them away with her thumb.

'You are such a wonderful man, Julian Baker. I love you, so much.'

He smiles, 'you do?'

She nods and reaches to rub her nose affectionately with his, 'more than i've ever loved anyone. I know you did that for me, and I love you for that.'

'i thought i'd be able to stop, i thought i'd be able to control myself. But i just kept thinking about that night, you lying there, i've never been so terrified, and i just couldn't stop, and i thought i'd take the high road-but it scared me, how easy it would have been to kill him and not feel anything but maybe a little satisfaction. Does that make me a bad person?'

She shakes her head, 'that makes you human. You forget, i was also close to killing someone, remember? X? And then you came-'

He chuckles at the memory, 'and watched like a dummy when you kicked his ass.'

'Got you to kiss me though.'

Their playful banter took them out of the situation for a while, forgetting what's just happened, and relishing in what was important, each other.

'You're all wet. I can't believe you did that.'

He smiles warmly, for the first time since he came through the door, he properly smiles.

'Anything for my wife.'

They allowed things to calm down for a couple of weeks. It seems like beating up Ian Kellerman has brought Julian the resolve he needed, and she feels that perhaps its time to ease _her _worries too. One day when she was painting her toenails on the living room couch, with the radio on, and she's singing along, bobbing her head slightly. Julian looks up from his laptop and watches her, grinning as he does.

'You're cute.'

She turns to him and smiles, he's wearing those chunky hipster glasses, his hair messy and he hasn't shaved for a few days, growing a slight stubble on his chin. She loves some stubble on him.

'You're cute too.'

He laughs then, 'god, how cheesy are we?'

Brooke rolls her eyes, 'You love it.'

'I do.'

So they settle into a comfortable silence again for a minute or so, he's typing and she's perfecting the blue varnish on her toes.

'Hey, can i ask you something? But please don't be upset.'

He doesn't look up from the screen and nods, 'sure, what's up?'

'Can we talk about that night? When you woke up in the middle of the night to find me upset? About LA?'

Julian looks up and closes his laptop, moving across the room to sit next to her.

'Brooke, i said we're done talking-'

'I know', she cuts in, 'but i want to bring it up again. i feel like, i have been selfish. Moping over the loss of my company, talking about needing to find myself, but still insisting on living here. Making you make that sacrifice with me without thinking about if you're creatively satisfied with the odd commercials you do here. And i've just realized how selfish i have been, and i am so sorry. I mean, i didn't even want to hear your side of the story, and marriage is about compromise, and i haven't been compromising.'

'Wow.'

Julian understands where she's coming from, to be completely honest he hasn't allowed himself to think that she hasn't been compromising, that it's all him. But he doesn't want to end up resenting his own wife five or ten years along the line.

'I appreciate that, Brooke.'

She nods, 'i'm just sorry it took me so long to realise it.'

'Doesn't matter.' Because to him, it truly doesn't matter how long it took for her to get there. She's stubborn, he loves that about her.

He's not going to rub in the fact that he's been frustrated with the lack of creative outlet, something meaty to dissect. He's not going to agree with her calling herself selfish; he won't allow himself to think that of her. He doesn't want to say _took you long enough_. He loves and respects her, and even though he would have been happy to spend the rest of his life in Tree Hill, he's relieved that she's now open to new beginnings too.

Brooke is grateful with his simple response, she can see the happiness and relief in his eyes and wonders why she hasn't done this earlier.

_Act of love._

And just like that, they fly to LA a week later, and Julian takes pride in showing her everything. Even though she's frequented LA before, and during summers when she went to stay at Casa Davis, it's nice to be shown around Los Angeles by a true native. They don't discuss moving here permanently, but she's open to the idea of going back and forth. Especially in this day and age, where people aren't so set in their ways, she's realising that anywhere can be _home _as long as this man goes with her.

'You grew up here?'

It's stunning, a beautiful white mini mansion, with an orange roof, very Beverly Hills, and a gated garden leading up from the driveway.

'I thought my house with the red door was extravagant.'

He pulls her closer and chuckles, 'Yeah, i wasn't exactly slumming it as a kid.'

'You don't say.'

'So, what do you think? My mom did offer it to us, since she's got that smaller house in Malibu now, and if you want to move to someplace less flashy, or when we want our own place, we can work towards that somewhere along the line.'

She smiles up at him, a part of her is still tentative and she cannot believe she's going to have to delve into this world again, but she's done it before, and this time she has him by her side, every step of the way.

' I say we should move right in.'

He grins, and she notices how the sun warms his face slightly. LA suits him, it's his home.

'Well, come on Mrs. Baker, let me show you the walk in closet.'

It took a while to find their groove, It's hard sometimes to fit each other in, with both of their careers taking off again, they attend each other's events, sitting front row at Isabel Marant's fashion show, participating in New York fashion week, Brooke traveling to promote her new line, _Brooke D.B. _The couple attend movie premiers and random events hosted by Elle or Vanity Fair, to get the media acquainted with them again, Julian's documentary making its way around the San Francisco indie scene, circuiting around the Los Angeles independent film society. He gives talks at USC film school whilst Brooke beams proudly at the back row.

They make enough money now, Brooke's fashion empire isn't where it was when she was twenty two, but she got her prestige back, and they can afford to keep her house in Tree Hill for long weekends or a place to recharge when LA becomes too busy. Julian doesn't constantly worry about whether she'll be on the next flight out to LA with him, because even though Tree Hill is home, he knows she knows now that home is where _he _is. He doesn't need to compete with Tree Hill. Sometimes they sunbathe with a bottle of wine on the deck, Nathan and Haley leave Jamie and Lydia with the sitter, Mouth and Millie, who are engaged, Clay and Quinn, when they're not traveling, join for a dinner of white wine and mussels.

Other times, Los Angeles is where they spend most of the month, rebuilding their careers and seeing each other in a new context. Julian marvels at how well Brooke is with the press, and she loves seeing how dorky (he prefers 'passionate') he gets discussing wide shots and camera angles.

'I think we should adopt,' he mumbles into her hair one night. She's running a hand along his chest, and turns to look at him.

'You do? I've been thinking the same, but are we ready? Financially, emotionally? What about our schedules and-'

He chuckles as he tucks her hair behind her ears, 'You already sound like a mother. But yeah, i mean, if we keep waiting for the right time, it'll never come, and i don't think anyone is fully prepared, even if they think they are, to be parents, you know. But i think we're at that point where we can try, and mess up together?'

She laughs, and there's a tear forming in her eye. It's glowing, and Julian reaches over to kiss her forehead.

'We're going to be great parents. You'll be _amazing_. Especially in LA with the beach and the sun, no crazy nannies or psycho stalkers, or grandfathers who's gone to prison,' he smirks, recalling the history of her hometown.

She smiles through tears, 'But are we going to have enough room if we say, adopt three kids?'

His laughter echoes through the room, as she attacks him with kisses.

Each kiss is for the times ahead, the adoption process isn't easy, they know this, each kiss is for the hours they're going to spend fighting over who gets to hold who, each kiss is for the hours they're going to spend feeding at 4am, each kiss is for when Brooke will have to teach her kids homework while Julian chuckles and tells her she's doing it wrong, each kiss is for Julian's high five after their son scores at a soccer game, for his heart attack when their daughter comes home excited about her first kiss at fourteen,for Brooke's overreaction at her son attending a party for the first time at fifteen. A tumble of kisses for each parental landmark they've yet to experience, but already excited at the thought.

'Yes Brooke, i think we could manage.'

And she giggles into his lips as he lightly tickles her sides and she squeals with laughter, 'baby, stop!'

'Say please! Beg!' He loves the way she squeals and kicks her feet like a child, so he tickles her until she's laughing so hard she can't breathe. It's the good kind of breathless.

_An act of love._


End file.
